Monday, August 5, 2013

Apology to Tim

When we were young, you made it clear that you were attracted to me. You asked me out on dates, you tried to be where I was, you told friends and teachers that you were interested in me. I gave you no attention. I ignored you. I avoided you. I quit music lessons with a teacher who wanted to encourage our relationship.

Friends told me that you were miserable. They told me of a time you were sitting in a tree in tears because I'd preferred to be out of town with my family. I wanted to be at the ski slopes, not because I loved skiing, but because that's where the "cool" kids were. You didn't ski, and probably couldn't afford it. Even though we had similar interests, I was unaware of that. I was unaware of you. I paid no attention to who you were. I had no good reason for this at all. I had no reasons that I can think of. Perhaps I didn't have respect for anyone who respected me. I am sorry that I was so self-centered and so oblivious to how smart you were, how musical, how kind you were. These were all qualities that I valued then, I certainly value them now.

Now I regret my behavior. I'm sorry I caused you sorrow. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate your good qualities. Even more, I regret missing out the opportunity of having a relationship with you. I have missed having you as a long-time friend and wish I'd forged and maintained a connection with you for all these years. I certainly appreciate who you are today. I'm sorry.

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