Feet on ground

I got my feelings hurt last night ... I was criticized for my guitar playing during last Sunday's service. Someone had said to the leader that it "clashed". I felt like packing up and going home right then, or least quitting forever.
I'm not saying my guitar playing wasn't bad, but I felt that I had put in a huge effort for less than a week's notice. I didn't know what key we were playing in until after Tuesday.
It looks as if things won't change much, so unless I want to continue to put out a huge effort and continue to play badly because I'm not really prepared, I should leave my (very very heavy) guitar at home. 

Then the lead singer suggested everybody not sing except during the choruses... so as not to confuse the congregation. At that point I started to thinking I'll get to sing more if I'm IN the congregation.
I knew that I was feeling like a sorehead, so I tried to make no decisions or proclamations last night. I need to sort out what my participation is about. Not easy. I don't really like the contemporary music as music ... but I do like participating in it. It's great to strum, clap, tap my feet, and sing harmony while worshipping God.

WOW!

Praise band practice tonight involved a new teenager and a man. (Not a bass but good enough!) What a wonderful sound we made! Not like anything we've done before so the congregation will be in for a Sunday surprise. I've often said that my favorite thing was singing duets. I have to revise that now. My favorite thing is singing quartets! This was better than I could have expected for a first time group. Our leader is very talented and worked really well with our newcomers. Same with our piano player. We are really blessed. I have fantasies of us going on the road :-)

When I got home I actually carried my guitar up the stairs. That's enthusiasm!

I want to pray

First a prayer of profound gratitude for the people in my new church. Tonight was when the "praise band" practices. I hauled my guitar and played around with tunings. I haven't played in such a long time, and haven't had so much fun playing for an even longer time. There were a few young children running around and full of laughter. We shushed them when they got too distracting and they would shush. There were four of us playing and a patient husband and a patient mother waiting. I realize that besides the joy of making music I was experiencing patience, simplicity, and security. So I want to pray my gratitude.

I also want to pray, yet again, "I believe. Please help me with my unbelief." I'll be sixty in a few days. I am realizing that I most probably will not be alive in thirty years. None of my future years can be taken for granted. Am I ready for whatever lies beyond this life? Am I truly living my present life?

Every morning

first draft
I drive a beautiful drive to work in the morning. I see the sunrise, misty pastoral scenes, birds - water fowl, raptors, turkeys, trees in their changes. I drive at the speed limit - it's an exercise in humility. In order to defeat my character traits of defiance and arrogance.

This beauty is a morning gift to make up for the morning news. The father/stepfather of several of my students is arrested for murdering an elderly man who owed him three hundred dollars. The memory of this beauty is a respite from the sound of a coworker repeatedly tell others "he was nothing but a junkyard dog". The aftertaste of this beauty holds me over through contempt and misunderstanding.

This beauty is a free gift that comes in spite of my financial troubles. A free gift that comes despite my sloth and avarice. A daily free gift that comes on days when I have forboding, or sorrow.

Good day!

I woke up this morning feeling better than I have in months. I quit drinking coffee a few weeks ago and I know the withdrawal takes a very long time. Maybe two weeks? So the Word for the day is appropriate for me.
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.”- Colossians 3:16