Feet on ground

I got my feelings hurt last night ... I was criticized for my guitar playing during last Sunday's service. Someone had said to the leader that it "clashed". I felt like packing up and going home right then, or least quitting forever.
I'm not saying my guitar playing wasn't bad, but I felt that I had put in a huge effort for less than a week's notice. I didn't know what key we were playing in until after Tuesday.
It looks as if things won't change much, so unless I want to continue to put out a huge effort and continue to play badly because I'm not really prepared, I should leave my (very very heavy) guitar at home. 

Then the lead singer suggested everybody not sing except during the choruses... so as not to confuse the congregation. At that point I started to thinking I'll get to sing more if I'm IN the congregation.
I knew that I was feeling like a sorehead, so I tried to make no decisions or proclamations last night. I need to sort out what my participation is about. Not easy. I don't really like the contemporary music as music ... but I do like participating in it. It's great to strum, clap, tap my feet, and sing harmony while worshipping God.

WOW!

Praise band practice tonight involved a new teenager and a man. (Not a bass but good enough!) What a wonderful sound we made! Not like anything we've done before so the congregation will be in for a Sunday surprise. I've often said that my favorite thing was singing duets. I have to revise that now. My favorite thing is singing quartets! This was better than I could have expected for a first time group. Our leader is very talented and worked really well with our newcomers. Same with our piano player. We are really blessed. I have fantasies of us going on the road :-)

When I got home I actually carried my guitar up the stairs. That's enthusiasm!

Back into music

Today I was involved with making church music.  I've been learning a lot ... being with a new denomination introduces me to a new hymnal and going to "contemporary" services exposes me to music I also don't know. I've been studying pretty hard, going to "praise band" practice, and taping music for my car trips.  Unfortunately our musicians, including me, will get burnt out if we don't get advance time for practice.  A musician operates on a couple of levels. There's the kinesthetic stuff where one does the mechanics. After that is taken care of, one can actually listen to the music and convey the spirit behind it. With groups, one has to get used to the others. For example, a song sound better when everyone pronounces the vowels in the same way (which is one reason singers look at each other). It's a lot like sports I think, only it's a new game with each new musical piece. 

Some pastors don't understand the kinesthetic preparation that's needed and they think a musician can just launch into the spirit stuff. It's embarrassing to make a mistake publicly and a musical mistake can be loud and awkward. A soloist can fudge, but a member of the group really sticks out.  If music selections were just a matter of appropriate words, we could just chant poetry instead of singing it.  The "groanings" of the Holy Spirit can teach us that words aren't the only form of worship. So perhaps a pastor could let go of his attachment to the importance of the words to the expense of having time to practice. Just saying. ;-)

While preparing for a song for this morning, I was told I'd be using a mike, but there's be no time to practice with the mike. I said "I've used a mike lots of times". Heh heh. It did not occur to me that I'd never used a mike while holding music. So for the first service, I found I could not see the music where I had to hold it. By the second service I'd figured out where to hold it.

Three of us sang a hymn a capella. I'm told it was the "Mennonite anthem", so I think it's appropriate that we sang a capella.  The congregation's pleasure was palpable. Connie and Jim and I do pretty well staying on pitch. What a pleasant blessing!

Two new people were interested in joining our tiny praise band (average 2.5 people).  I hope we'll get more lead time so we can work better as a bigger group.

Your tax dollars at work- I have one student

Actually I'm not as disgruntled as people usually are about tax dollars. I'm quite grateful to have a job and I hope my ONE student is happy to be having intensive tutoring in biology. She's a really nice kid and deserves the extra attention. 

I'm learning as we go, too. Biology, the science of life, is really really awesome. If this human science can be so complex and beautiful, doesn't it boggle the mind to think about the Giver of Life?

I know I'm listening

... to God when things like this happen. I was waiting in the summer school office and in walked Johnny! I had just been telling someone I would like to see him after all these seven years, but I wouldn't recognize him. So, she knowing this, was able to introduce us. What a treat!

Intentional living

Yesterday's message at church was on "intentional living" and was a tape from Kerry Shook from Fellowship of the Woodlands in Houston TX. It certainly presented a challenge, to the point that the congregation was a bit stunned. The challenging question was: 

What would I do today if I had only one month to live?

My first answer might be not to sleep so much. 

Yesterday I packed my hairless fiddle bow for shipping, made post cards to send to my favorite aunt, and wrote notation for Angel Band. 

I did watch Lawnorder Criminals in Tents for the last hour of the day, which is not good for my spiritual condition. I have been concerned about my spiritual condition because I've been waking up too often with resentments. Last night I did make sure I went to sleep with a prayer on my lips and did wake up feeling better.  No resentments today, but some fear over current difficulties and challenges.

Goodness a week has gone by since the last blog entry. And I have had time ... but filled it well. Forgive me if I'm saying what I've said before. My life may be more of the same on paper. 

I've been putting together flashcards for teaching remedial biology. The students will have 20 hours to relearn or learn about seventh grade and high school biology. The week after their two weeks with me they will retake the HSA biology which is required for high school graduation. (And I thought New York State Regents' exams were tough!) So I figure the best thing I can do is help them bone up on terminology. Hmmm... I do that a lot when I teach math too.

Speaking of math. I have not gotten any invitations to job interviews. Is there a black mark next to my name? Still I feel very strong promise in that direction.

What's on my mind today is how I want to make as much as my church "fellowship" activities as much an outreach activity as possible. That's the idea of music on the porch or eating out at foreign restaurants (besides liking the interesting foods). I suppose that's a recurring theme too.

I mustered enough energy to get to praise group practice last night. And it really charged me up. Not yet, but someday I'll join the group during church. Maybe within the year. I'm really learning a lot.