Wishing for less pain

OWWWWWW!

Today the issue is sciatica pain. I plan to eat eggs and grits but it hurts too much to get out of bed to make it. I just took a 3 Aleves and I'll try again in 20 minutes. Karen will be picking me up to go swimming. What I eat and how I exercise are so important because I'll continue to be in pain if I remain overweight and weak. Remaining in pain keeps me from fulfilling a few wishes.

I don't wish for a lot. I'd like to have a dog. I'd like to be able to home school my granddaughter if they are unhappy with the public school.

I called the woman who offered to be my sponsor. I thought I'd let her know my time slot was free. I think she was surprised I called at all. It was uncomfortable to do.

Journaling

It's been a great week. I've stuck to my food plan, kept up with my novena on Dorothy Day, prayed for others, done some swimming, kept up with NaNoMo much better than I thought. Haven't had the urge to watch tv or movies.

I asked a stranger to sponsor me in the 90 day OA program. That wasn't too bright. A sponsor is someone who has what you want and you do what they did. I realize I don't know what she has. And she doesn't seem willing to tell me ("we'll discuss your food plan first.") She vetoed some of my foods and I accepted that veto because sugar is an ingredient. But she also vetoed fruits canned with fruit juice  ("processed") and homemade hummus ("I don't do mixtures." "But you eat salad").  Now I don't know if I want what she has ... since I'm not yet aware of what she has. I am a food addict and can't recover by myself. I have illusions and delusions.

As I was wondering "How do I know what's right? Who will tell me?" I realized that I can pray for the answer.

Growing old is not for sissies

Soon I'll be 65. I've retired recently. I was pretty much forced to by my (lack of) health. Arthritis flare up, gastrointestinal stuff followed closely by stroke number five (still unknown source of blood clot). The hospital stay after the stroke was so uncomfortable that my back is now giving me enough discomfort for me to be bedridden. If I were more comfortable, I'd be delighted to be retired. So when I'm back on my feet, I will be.  My income is very small, but I'm comfortable, and I have health insurance which eats up more than my pension.

For the first time in several years, I've got two rooms, a complete kitchen and a bathroom big enough to dance in. The videos show off my paintings by my grandmother, Eric Dennard, and my son. My son stays every other weekend along with my grandson ... so delightful.