After a dreadful year, my health seems to be turning around

Good feeling day for an introvert. Playing on the internet. Reading in the recliner. I've been steadily losing weight since Halloween. I had a stroke (second one in the year 2013) but two positive inexplicable changes came about (as a result??). I had my 1/4 vision back after two years. And my abnormal food cravings were gone - I have ordinary food cravings that come and go, but ordinary enough that I'm at a weight lower than in years.

I've been swimming at least three times a week ... which is essential because I'm not very mobile otherwise. Because of the strokes, I can't take NSAIDs such as Aleve any more and I miss that a lot. Coffee seems to help.  I'm hoping in weight loss and increasing exercise.

journaling - Let me hide myself in Thee

Dear Lord, I ask your protection as I monitor my fragile health. Dear Lord, you know how much gluttony and sloth have gotten me this way. Please hold me in your hand as I struggle toward health. Dear Lord may I increase in health to serve you better. If my back pain is my cross, help me to bear it. Help me to release weight and compulsion that make me unhealthy and of less use to you.
Your beauty and grace are my comfort and joy. Let me hide myself in you.

Dear Lord, I have been much too harsh and critical. I have been a scold. This had not helped anyone. My comments have not improved things. Dear Lord, may I show the grace that you have shown me. May I feel the love that helps us all grow and flourish. May I express this love to others.

Sunday morning ... a morning from my childhood. Watching people walk to church in couples and families, the chimes are playing Jesus Loves Me. I went to the early service ... the one with the "old" people ... and the scripture was from the Sermon on the Mount, starting with my confirmation verse (Matthew 6:19 ).  The hymns were familiar and we sang every verse.  By no means do I think of this old "mainstream" culture as the only way to celebrate Christ; I just enjoyed it on this particular morning.

Pastor Sharon apparently doesn't do sermons, but her prayers are wonderful. She seems to voice my concerns so well and she speaks with the assurance of God's mercy and love.

Not so overwhelmed at home

How nice to have a next door neighbor who was willing to bring me a glass of water after I'd taken off my velcro boot to go to bed! It makes me feel a lot less helpless when I am able to accept help from other people. And I've got lots of people who are helpful. With and without help I got a few chores done and don't feel so overwhelmed today.

PS To quote Lena
Thank goodness for unsecured wireless networks!

Overwhelmed at home

There is a very big jump from skilled nursing care and being alone at home. I was definitely ready to leave the nursing home and was the most independent patient there, but I'm feeling very inadequate at home alone. It's hard to find a place to begin sorting things out and hard to decide how to schedule my day. Every little thing is a big deal.

Outta Here

I'll be leaving the nursing home this Saturday afternoon!
I've been practicing walking with a walker and climbing stairs with a cane. Kind friends from church came and cleaned my apartment and have stocked my kitchen!
I don't know when I'll be online. I have to reconnect my cable connection. I'll be out of work for at least two more weeks. So much to do!!

It won't be long now

I went to the doctor yesterday and got permission to use full weight on the boot. Today I climbed and descended on 6 steps. Now I'm trying to figure out how to stay here until Saturday and then be able to leave on that day. That way my son will be available for transportation.

Two folks from church have already cleaned my apartment. So I won't have to face the rotten winter squash that was on the top of the fridge.

The hosptial is mailing me a disk with all my x rays. I'll post them as soon as I can.

I'm hoping to rent a wheelchair for work, and a walker for home. The big chore ahead is shopping for a car.

I still have not mastered the art of patience, but I certainly have had lots of instruction. Since patience is a GIFT of the Spirit I guess I'll have to have patience about receiving it.

I found a really neat selection on secular spirituality in this month's Christianity today

...readers and viewers, often young and outside the church, fashion personal spiriual systems from individual experience and elements of mythic popular culture. Seekers, then, get some answers and taste of transcendence without the moral accountability or costly interpersonal committments of church. But they also forfeit significant checks on the reasonableness of their beliefs, a worthy object of worship, authentic spiritual community, and, most importantly, any ultimately redeptive message or means.

-James Harrick "Sci-fi's Brave New World"

events

Folks of my church community are in prayer for a family that's having a hard time. There seems to be one medical emergency after another in the two generations. Yesterday the mother in the second generation was hit by a car and has suffered some serious injury.

My room telephone number has been changed ... it is now 410-341-5527. I was pretty steamed about the change, but I got over it.

Then I got steamed that my roommate had gotten into my stuff while I was out for therapy. I went to our section office and said that third time was enough for me and that I did not wish to be in her room. Because there is painting etc. going on, they couldn't move her tonight, but they will SOON. Meanwhile, my roommates' wheel chair is posted outside of the nurses's station where they can keep an eye on her.

Connie came and brought a pickle which I scarfed without even savoring it. I was too agitated. After conversation we prayed for Tracy and I felt a little more centered.

My cribbage buddy is going to the hospital for chemo this weekend, so maybe I'll read up on cribbage via Wikipoedia and impress him when he gets back.

to sleep, perchance to dream

I'm sleep deprived. Last night my roommate was into "riding" her bed for twenty minute stretches. By that I mean she was using the electric bed raising/lowering controls. I tried to nap yesterday afternoon and I was wakened to report on how many bowel movements I had during that shift.

But here is piece of good news: I was actually WALKING today. I had a different therapist and I told her I didn't want to hop with the walker and she asked me if I could walk woth the walker and I did! I think I'll have no trouble with the stairs, once I get rid of this boot. (picture is on the wrong leg, btw)

Waking up

A few days off oxycodone now and I'm feeling more like myself ... generally a nicer person and certainly more awake. I'm also more anxious now as I am not numbed about my have-to-buy-a-car situation and trying to figure out how mobile I will be at work (maybe I'll need a wheel chair for when I get tired in the afternoons?)
I have gotten around to plow through much of my professional e-mail and I'm thrilled to see that I was replaced (til the end of Feb) which means I'm not expendable.
I'm looking forward to RUNNING out of here. Though a few things I'll miss ... clean linens whenever I want them, getting laundry done often, three nice meals with lots of variety, sleeping til 8 and not rushing when I get up. I look forward to my steel cut oatmeal, good coffee, nobody waking me up for pills or tests, the smells of other people, my computer access, QUIET!!!, seeing kids,...
But don't think I have a clue of when I'm leaving. I'm guessing I'll be here til the middle of the month.

latest news from the nursing home

It's hard to be newsy from a nursing home. Though last week was somewhat newsier than most. I would have kept you posted but the internet was down on the library computers. My roommate sort of went crazy. She was into my stuff a few times and was ranting to invisible people much of the time ... including nights. She also kept trying to crawl down out of her wheel chair, so I was hitting the call button rather often. I was feeling less and less charitable to the point I couldn't stand myself very much.

Two things have changed. I stopped taking oxycodone and switched to the pain med I used to take at home. And my roommate was taken off an antibiotic that was making her act so weird. So I'm feeling more charitable. It's needed here because there are some very disturbed patients. Today I offered to close a lady's door and she said "I'm dressed". Evidently she thought she looked OK in a bikini. More details would be too much information even for the TMI blog.

I also have finally figured out how to get the computer to print (the trick is to use a different computer). And how to use Skype with a mike and headphones. Which I"m going to do right now to call my step mother.

Washing the stairs

With our recent cooler weather and my last week before going back to full time work, I've been doing some cleaning that I haven't done in years. I have been cleaning the common areas of my building. 

Someone else is paid to do this, but my landlord is a softie and won't "retire" the lady who is definitely too old and probably too infirm for the job, so if it gets done at all, it gets done poorly. I don't complain because my landlord hasn't raised my rent since I moved here and so I'm grateful my landlord is a softie. And I'm pretty old and infirm myself.

So back to the cleaning. I've scrubbed the landing and have scrubbed half of the stairs. Today I hope to finish the stairs. Four years ago I scrubbed all but the bottom four stairs (They remained for contrast). Since then I've had two knee replacements and my kneeling days are over. And until my surgery, I was a hands and knees sort of cleaner. It's the only way I can do a good job. So now I'm a stand and bend or sit and bend cleaner.

Nobody has done the stairs since four years ago, so you can imagine what they're like. A bucket of cleaning water does no more than four steps. Yesterday I did nine steps (stretched one bucket to five). 

I'm feeling so grateful that I am feeling well enough to do this. Did my apartment floors too this week. And the thing is that I'm feeling better and better as I go along.

Update - done with the stairs! Recommended music for cleaning.

Good day!

I woke up this morning feeling better than I have in months. I quit drinking coffee a few weeks ago and I know the withdrawal takes a very long time. Maybe two weeks? So the Word for the day is appropriate for me.
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.”- Colossians 3:16