Happy Easter - mundane thoughts

Overall, it's been a lovely Easter. I didn't feel up to going to the sunrise service and I'm pretty sure the "hard core" was there at 6AM. I heard people say it was the warmest sunrise service they had experience which was no surprise when you think it was so late in the year. CR managed to find daffodils for sale, but not in great quantity. I made some origami "easter egg" earrings before I went to the 10:30 service. At this late service, there were a portion of people who were actually squirming. They were clearly there as a favor to another family member. The girl in front of me was so uptight, I felt like giving her a neck massage ... but figured that would have been the last straw to send her screaming out to the street. Her whole crew raced out to the front sidewalk after the service while they waited for Aunt Dorothy. Since they were of mixed races, they looked quite attractive out on the sidewalk and created a nice impression of our congregation.

I'm sure people were uncomfortable about the lack of guidance on etiquette. We were dressed in the whole gamut - boys in suits and ties, a woman with a "covering" on her head, a man in a dashiki, political t-shirts, jeans, and I wore a very old dress with new sweater - and the singing behavior varied just as much. Many old folks remained seated along with a few non-participants, the guitar player's daughter danced with the music up front, Mr. Pastor raised his hands, and not many sang because the contemporary music was unfamiliar. I wished I had come to the more traditional 9 AM because I had those old hymns down cold. I shed a few tears missing my Dad who sang the old hymns so well. All made me reflect on what a strange occasion late Easter service was. It was the pastor's chance to deliver a message to those who only came once or twice year. I was not surprised that Martin delivered a positive message.

Later in the day I listen to Rick Warren's sermon which was similar. A little more direct and filled with metaphors using the testimony of a Chilean miner.

I decided not to break my meat fast today by cooking at home because I didn't want to inflict the smells on my vegetarian neighbor. I think she's gone back to DC now, so I'll be making corned beef tonight, and maybe lamb tomorrow. Even I hate the smell of lamb.

Even when I'm an anthiest

... I'm glad I have a church.

I am not always a theist. Sometimes I think and act like I will simply rot when I die and random acts of kindness make no difference to anybody. Sometimes when I pray my mind drifts to shopping lists and sometimes church music just brings out the critic in me.

But when it comes to wanting to have a positive effect on the world, I'm always glad I'm in a church. As an individual I can recycle plastic and metals. I can give money to roadside beggars. I can offer rides to people who need them. I can donate to red cross. I can visit the sick. All of these actions reflect my good intentions. But I'm more active as part of a group. As a church member I feed and shelter local homeless people, contribute livestock to families in third world countries, help pay secondary school tuition for a student in Guatemala, recycle aluminum, and send hygiene kits to disaster regions such as Haiti and Pakistan. That is the activity of my church locally. We also are part of larger networks.

I urge you, the reader, to find a church that is actively being the hands and feet of Jesus. If you are in a church, but are not involved in action as a community, I urge you to find another church. Church is not just a place where you practice being nice.

Manna

It was great to be at my home church this morning. The contrast with my old church was pretty dramatic today.

Last week I visited my old church. I was really happy to see many of the people I love dearly and don't see much any more. I got to see Joyce S. who is in frail health. She's an "elder" in my eyes. She should be a deaconess, but the congregation doesn't think women should have that role. Since I've known her, she's been an exemplar of service. I remember watching her from a distance as she picked up nails off the lawn left there from a building that had been demolished after a fire. No one was around. No one asked her to do it. No one thanked her.

She began an English class for immigrants and worked for a long time as the sole teacher. When the class grew, even though her health limited her participation, she manned the sign-in table for the attendees for twice a week, week after week. She seems to always be around when something needs doing. I also noticed that the developmentally disabled people and mentally ill people would approach her to talk. Many people say they have a heart for the handicapped, but the handicapped people can determine who will and who won't give them any attention. I watch who they choose to talk to. Joyce gives them true respect. When she was able to drive she gave rides to people were in need. She visited the sick - I know she visited me when I was sick in a nursing home. She visited people at the Westover migrant camp, and when a man had a knife wound in his neck she held him in her lap applying pressure until the ambulance came.

Many of the people who served at the English class have gone on to other congregations. Amy C. has joined a church that has a stronger mission for service. I remember when she volunteered for ESL. I was stunned with gratitude that such a strong servant would find the time and energy, but then remembered that "if you want a good volunteer, ask a busy person." She was once nominated to be a deacon but the furor was great and she was in tears over being a "source" of disharmony.

I say I jumped church because of the dishes my new church used at the "Love Feast". I had wanted to go to a footwashing for a year before I finally attended one. My first post to this blog (http://tinyurl.com/4vsyofd) is my thinking about it. I had the impression that Christians participated in footwashing because Jesus did it and told us to do the same. And when I finally went I noticed they used real dishes - Corel. The church ministry center is so small that there is no dishwasher. The dishes are carted in tubs to different homes to be washed. I was so impressed that they didn't use paper or styrofoam. This church's behavior with its dishes showed me that this was where I belonged.

That was about three years ago (I'll have to look this stuff up and revise this blog as necessary). When I left my old church we studied the Bible carefully (a strength) and were reminded that homosexuality and abortion were sins (a waste of time and hot air enjoyed by many Christians). I personally didn't know anyone who appeared to be defending homosexual relationships or who were interested in terminating pregnancies. There were plenty of sins in evidence but they were never addressed. The preacher was speaking to a nodding choir. We were not challenged. It seemed the same when I went to check out the new pastor last week. (Not that I would have wanted to challenge the power structure that was in place if I were a new preacher!)

The people at my old church were for the most part very nice people. They excelled at being nice. And I'm afraid that's part of why I've left them. I need to be around people who are eager to be more than nice. The Christ I came to call Lord has asked me to take up a cross.

This morning at my new church the topic of the sermon was "give us this day, our daily bread". Martin had a Bible in his hand throughout. He wasn't making stuff up. He could have spent the time congratulating the congregation on the past two weeks of ministry to the homeless. We could be patting ourselves for doing our good deed for the year. (My old church does not participate in the inter-church rotating program at all). Instead he called us to realize that while it's hard for Americans to understand the importance of asking where the next meal would come from, we should be saying the prayer to keep us open for the understanding of the many who do not have the means to determine how their daily bread will be provided . He talked bout Heifer International and Free Trade buying as things we can do to help others. He even suggested that we could eat less!!! Nobody but my doctor and my relatives has ever had the nerve to suggest that I eat less. It's a lot closer to home than gay sex or abortion.

One verse he cited I want to remember when people discuss taxing the wealthy.
It comes at the end of the parable of the wise manager.
^{Luke 12:48} .... From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Our church is feeling the economic crunch of the recession, but Martin suggested that we spend the lent season with a goal of filling an "ark" for Heifer International. Here he talked about one of my favorite topics: Manna

More on this to come. I plan to revise this post quite a bit.
It was a very challenging and invigorating service and I'm glad I was there to be a part.

Progress and regress

I've been blue because my financial picture is looking bleak and as I mentioned, I'm tired of pain. But I went to physical therapy yesterday and to my surgeon's today and physically things should be looking up this month. I'll be in the pool for gait work and "on land" for my wrist strengthening. Right now my grip is at 6 in my left hand as opposed to 40 in my right. The therapist tells me that should improve.
Also I'll be picking up new shoes and orthotics tomorrow (and they're already paid for).
My church is paying my rent this month. It's hard to be on the receiving end of charity, but it's wonderful that it's there.

Grateful

I went to help out with the free Thanksgiving dinner that was offered by the three denominations on our block - Church of the Brethren, Lutheran, and Seventh Day Adventists. There were more helpers than there were eaters! Folks are saying that next year they should publicize more.

I did get in some friendly conversations and saw a guy from 12 step programs I haven't seen in a few years. He has some sort of mental disability that I can't identify ... seems to show very little affect and it's hard to understand his talking ... but he's sharp and thoughtful and once one can get through the talk problem, he's very pleasant to talk with.
He's not homeless, but certainly hard up and hits every free meal in town. He was telling me that the reason most people get kicked out of Christian Shelter was because they didn't want to sit through devotionals. He said "if that's the rule, I don't see why they can't do at least that little bit." I feel like that's the problem some of my high school students have ... it seems like they almost go out of their way to break some of the rules ... and some will be the homeless of the future.
Here's an article that encourages me to write a daily gratitude list. So what better day to start than today?
I'm grateful that I was taught to read.
I'm grateful to have drinkable water.
I'm grateful to live in a temperate climate.
I'm grateful that heat is included in my rent.
I'm grateful to have a childhood friend living nearby.

The picture above is of Kirk Douglas, I liked the picture before I knew it was of him. Now I like it even more.

Talking back in church

This topic has come up a few times in my recent life. I didn't realize it was special, but my current church "allows" talking during the Sunday worship service and that's pretty radical. Check out this posting on Christopher Webb's blog. (Webb's the new Renovaré president)

Feet on ground

I got my feelings hurt last night ... I was criticized for my guitar playing during last Sunday's service. Someone had said to the leader that it "clashed". I felt like packing up and going home right then, or least quitting forever.
I'm not saying my guitar playing wasn't bad, but I felt that I had put in a huge effort for less than a week's notice. I didn't know what key we were playing in until after Tuesday.
It looks as if things won't change much, so unless I want to continue to put out a huge effort and continue to play badly because I'm not really prepared, I should leave my (very very heavy) guitar at home. 

Then the lead singer suggested everybody not sing except during the choruses... so as not to confuse the congregation. At that point I started to thinking I'll get to sing more if I'm IN the congregation.
I knew that I was feeling like a sorehead, so I tried to make no decisions or proclamations last night. I need to sort out what my participation is about. Not easy. I don't really like the contemporary music as music ... but I do like participating in it. It's great to strum, clap, tap my feet, and sing harmony while worshipping God.

WOW!

Praise band practice tonight involved a new teenager and a man. (Not a bass but good enough!) What a wonderful sound we made! Not like anything we've done before so the congregation will be in for a Sunday surprise. I've often said that my favorite thing was singing duets. I have to revise that now. My favorite thing is singing quartets! This was better than I could have expected for a first time group. Our leader is very talented and worked really well with our newcomers. Same with our piano player. We are really blessed. I have fantasies of us going on the road :-)

When I got home I actually carried my guitar up the stairs. That's enthusiasm!

Back into music

Today I was involved with making church music.  I've been learning a lot ... being with a new denomination introduces me to a new hymnal and going to "contemporary" services exposes me to music I also don't know. I've been studying pretty hard, going to "praise band" practice, and taping music for my car trips.  Unfortunately our musicians, including me, will get burnt out if we don't get advance time for practice.  A musician operates on a couple of levels. There's the kinesthetic stuff where one does the mechanics. After that is taken care of, one can actually listen to the music and convey the spirit behind it. With groups, one has to get used to the others. For example, a song sound better when everyone pronounces the vowels in the same way (which is one reason singers look at each other). It's a lot like sports I think, only it's a new game with each new musical piece. 

Some pastors don't understand the kinesthetic preparation that's needed and they think a musician can just launch into the spirit stuff. It's embarrassing to make a mistake publicly and a musical mistake can be loud and awkward. A soloist can fudge, but a member of the group really sticks out.  If music selections were just a matter of appropriate words, we could just chant poetry instead of singing it.  The "groanings" of the Holy Spirit can teach us that words aren't the only form of worship. So perhaps a pastor could let go of his attachment to the importance of the words to the expense of having time to practice. Just saying. ;-)

While preparing for a song for this morning, I was told I'd be using a mike, but there's be no time to practice with the mike. I said "I've used a mike lots of times". Heh heh. It did not occur to me that I'd never used a mike while holding music. So for the first service, I found I could not see the music where I had to hold it. By the second service I'd figured out where to hold it.

Three of us sang a hymn a capella. I'm told it was the "Mennonite anthem", so I think it's appropriate that we sang a capella.  The congregation's pleasure was palpable. Connie and Jim and I do pretty well staying on pitch. What a pleasant blessing!

Two new people were interested in joining our tiny praise band (average 2.5 people).  I hope we'll get more lead time so we can work better as a bigger group.

Why not stay home on Sunday?

I've been encouraged to think through and write out my "story" of why I go to church. Do I go to church for any reason that I could tell somebody else? Suppose I want to invite my next door neighbor to join us in church. Why would anyone want to come with me? Maybe my understanding why I go would help me understand. This was a One Prayer assignment that was given on Wednesday and now it's rotated off the page. (A reason that that website is very aggravating) But it's taken me all this time to think about it.

I go to church because it's refreshing. When I go to work I feel as if I am subject to judgment. I also feel that way at parties. At church I feel smart enough, good enough, and doggone it, people like me! And I find I like the people I'm with in the same way.

At church I'm with people who are deeply concerned about the state of the world, and not afraid, or shy, or too self-conscious to say so. We either share our sorrows there, or we let go of our petty grievances as we concentrate on the problems of others'. We also share our victories and pleasures. I don't hear any "top this" stories either, although I suppose they have to happen from time to time.

I go to church because it puts my world in order. I need the regular reminder of who is in charge (God) and who is not (me). The attitude of worship does this better than anything. You could tell me God is important, but I don't feel it unless I'M telling God that God is important.

I go to church because I like God, I'm sure He likes me, and it's a great place to affirm that with others who feel the same way. I go to church because I want to please God, and I'm sure He wants me to grow, and it's a great place to grow with others who feel the same way.

Wednesday one prayer

Wednesday: What is your One Prayer? If you could pray one prayer for the Church, what would it be?

Before I accepted Christ as my savior, teacher, Lord, and friend, I was sort of a fuzzy new-age pantheist. And before that I was a Baha'i. As I Baha'i, I felt I had the key to world unity and peace. All we needed was for everyone to become Baha'i! I have come to believe that not everyone will agree on a religion. God draws each believer in the way that is right and timely for her. And some will never be believers at all.
Still, my prayer for the Church is unity. Not that we all think the same way. I can see by the one prayer responses so far that we have very different slants. But let's accept the diversity in the Christian body and remember that Christ is the head.

Seventh graders in my life

An eventful past few days. I was rushed to the hospital yesterday on the recommendation of my school nurse and vice principal. I'd had a stomach bug and felt "faint" after 7th grade lunch duty. While they were calling 911, I was barfing breakfast and lunch and by the time I was riding to the hospital to ruin my son's day, I was feeling fine. 5 hours of tests later the hospital was convinced I felt fine too. I'm grateful that everyone was concerned enough to worry about me.

I used to get out of work by saying "I don't feel well" and then everyone would say "you look pale". That's because I'm naturally pastey and if people focus on it, people can convince themselves that I'm really really ill when I'm not. So yesterday that backfired on me.

Today I was back at work to get get well cards from kids which was nice. I wore my "Tell me I'm cool" button and really enjoyed getting kids to read it and when they told me I was cool I enthusiastically thanked them. This made them smile and for a moment they thought I might really BE cool! After work I went to a county wide picnic for mentors and mentee families. I saw lots of people I know... probably because I associate with really good folks. I really did my walking and standing in line muscles a work out.

Then as I left I realized I was just in time for choir practice which charged me up some. I found out our pleasantly geeky drummer is a seventh grader who loves anime and manga. I said "you're the girl for my grandson". He is really not interested in girls, so K. and I are going to pretend she's a boy (I thought she was a boy when I first saw her) and let him get used to the idea. I'm taking him to my church this Saturday when we're having a board game night and my grandson and I are bringing Go which K. knows how to play!


After music I went to the supermarket to buy a block of swiss cheese for a coworker's birthday tomorrow. I was cheerfully greeted my a seventh grader from my school. Seventh graders can be quite pleasant when they are out of the crowd.

When I got home I got my "Got Fruit?" T shirt which I look forward to wearing on game night!

I want to pray

First a prayer of profound gratitude for the people in my new church. Tonight was when the "praise band" practices. I hauled my guitar and played around with tunings. I haven't played in such a long time, and haven't had so much fun playing for an even longer time. There were a few young children running around and full of laughter. We shushed them when they got too distracting and they would shush. There were four of us playing and a patient husband and a patient mother waiting. I realize that besides the joy of making music I was experiencing patience, simplicity, and security. So I want to pray my gratitude.

I also want to pray, yet again, "I believe. Please help me with my unbelief." I'll be sixty in a few days. I am realizing that I most probably will not be alive in thirty years. None of my future years can be taken for granted. Am I ready for whatever lies beyond this life? Am I truly living my present life?

church shopping

I'm officially church shopping. Today I went to Melesa's church. I like that everyone is lively and there seems to be a good diversity. I like that the pastor doesn't give us the same old same old (with a few exceptions noted below). I really like that they have cell groups and they grab newcomers and assign them a cell. I like that they have missionary connections to Haiti and one member speaks Haitian-Creole.
I did not like the music. Sure I expected praise chorus stuff, but it hurt my ears. I didn't like that abortion and homosexuality were mentioned as sins, (same old sins) but neither gluttony nor idolatry was.
The jury is still out on the theology. Is it "prosperity" gospel? Can't quite tell. The sermon was on Isaiah 54 and it left me a little confused. He said it was a promise, not a prophesy. I am unconvinced. The altar call was effective although during the meeting after the service to meet the newcomers, a woman who was "with" a guy who declared for Christ sort of muttered that she might be interested in salvation and whammo, she got assigned to a cell group and there was prayer and praise.

Why go to church?

I can't stand to see myself blogging about it over and over, so I'll refer you to PistolPete's  excellent comments on it for today. (I did rant at length in his comment section.)

Life Together/ Our Multicultural Church

Matt's blog really got me thinking. Here's my end of the conversation.

So I went to church yesterday. Our new pastor looks like Rowan Atkinson and speaks on two pitches - high note, low note, high note, low note - like a Mr. Bean pastor.

But I really am glad I went. There was a true feeling of communion and joy. And that's why I go to church. I get better sermons on the internet, and I can do better "Sunday school" study on the internet, but I can't get communion and joy anywhere else as I can in my church. Deitrich Bonhoeffer was right.

I read another article on Matt's blog and it makes me reflect on why my church has its great diversity (I think about this a lot.)I don't think it is because of the efforts of our current leadership. Our deacons are generally good old boys, complete with puffy hair and cowboy boots. Our retired former pastor was an important factor ... but so far, the misfits, such as me, that became part of the church, still feel very welcome.

The multi-generational families contribute a lot to age diversity. And even though I am the only one in my local family who is Christian, I love to see that at my church some couples CAN stay married, and whole families can worship together.

Another factor is my son's mother-in-law. She is from Panama and is as wonderful a Christian example that I know. She hosted a family of 5 in her very small house so that we could have Spanish-speaking associate pastor. When that family got their own house, she hosted another family so that we could have a Portugese-speaking congregation. She used her own money to fund the beginning of our ESL mission, the one that I'm involved in.

Then there are the African-American members who are really quite diverse from each other, but who I think have great guts to go against social pressures from their community and attend a historically "white" church. Our youth group really sticks out at a Southern Baptist gathering.

But, as our former pastor said. this a delicate thing. A precious thing, but something we don't talk about, something we don't promote. We are all pleased about it, but we don't know how we've succeeded. Generally folks in our church don't gripe and analyze and squirm the way I do. I'm pretty sure if there were a lot more INTJ's we'd probably spoil the wonderful diversity we have. But I'm not too worried that a lot of folks like me will be around.

I'm not doing a good job at leading to this conclusion, but here it is anyway. I think we have diversity because the amazing work of individuals. And that is not easy to create.