Goodness a week has gone by since the last blog entry. And I have had time ... but filled it well. Forgive me if I'm saying what I've said before. My life may be more of the same on paper. 

I've been putting together flashcards for teaching remedial biology. The students will have 20 hours to relearn or learn about seventh grade and high school biology. The week after their two weeks with me they will retake the HSA biology which is required for high school graduation. (And I thought New York State Regents' exams were tough!) So I figure the best thing I can do is help them bone up on terminology. Hmmm... I do that a lot when I teach math too.

Speaking of math. I have not gotten any invitations to job interviews. Is there a black mark next to my name? Still I feel very strong promise in that direction.

What's on my mind today is how I want to make as much as my church "fellowship" activities as much an outreach activity as possible. That's the idea of music on the porch or eating out at foreign restaurants (besides liking the interesting foods). I suppose that's a recurring theme too.

I mustered enough energy to get to praise group practice last night. And it really charged me up. Not yet, but someday I'll join the group during church. Maybe within the year. I'm really learning a lot. 

Why not stay home on Sunday?

I've been encouraged to think through and write out my "story" of why I go to church. Do I go to church for any reason that I could tell somebody else? Suppose I want to invite my next door neighbor to join us in church. Why would anyone want to come with me? Maybe my understanding why I go would help me understand. This was a One Prayer assignment that was given on Wednesday and now it's rotated off the page. (A reason that that website is very aggravating) But it's taken me all this time to think about it.

I go to church because it's refreshing. When I go to work I feel as if I am subject to judgment. I also feel that way at parties. At church I feel smart enough, good enough, and doggone it, people like me! And I find I like the people I'm with in the same way.

At church I'm with people who are deeply concerned about the state of the world, and not afraid, or shy, or too self-conscious to say so. We either share our sorrows there, or we let go of our petty grievances as we concentrate on the problems of others'. We also share our victories and pleasures. I don't hear any "top this" stories either, although I suppose they have to happen from time to time.

I go to church because it puts my world in order. I need the regular reminder of who is in charge (God) and who is not (me). The attitude of worship does this better than anything. You could tell me God is important, but I don't feel it unless I'M telling God that God is important.

I go to church because I like God, I'm sure He likes me, and it's a great place to affirm that with others who feel the same way. I go to church because I want to please God, and I'm sure He wants me to grow, and it's a great place to grow with others who feel the same way.

One prayer Monday

June 16: What Did God Do in Your Church?

We had communion in spirit. So much so in spirit that I almost forgot the bread and juice which we also shared. We used a video sermon which connected us with the Christian world at large, and members of the congregation pointed out our connection with area churches.

Why go to church?

I can't stand to see myself blogging about it over and over, so I'll refer you to PistolPete's  excellent comments on it for today. (I did rant at length in his comment section.)

Life Together/ Our Multicultural Church

Matt's blog really got me thinking. Here's my end of the conversation.

So I went to church yesterday. Our new pastor looks like Rowan Atkinson and speaks on two pitches - high note, low note, high note, low note - like a Mr. Bean pastor.

But I really am glad I went. There was a true feeling of communion and joy. And that's why I go to church. I get better sermons on the internet, and I can do better "Sunday school" study on the internet, but I can't get communion and joy anywhere else as I can in my church. Deitrich Bonhoeffer was right.

I read another article on Matt's blog and it makes me reflect on why my church has its great diversity (I think about this a lot.)I don't think it is because of the efforts of our current leadership. Our deacons are generally good old boys, complete with puffy hair and cowboy boots. Our retired former pastor was an important factor ... but so far, the misfits, such as me, that became part of the church, still feel very welcome.

The multi-generational families contribute a lot to age diversity. And even though I am the only one in my local family who is Christian, I love to see that at my church some couples CAN stay married, and whole families can worship together.

Another factor is my son's mother-in-law. She is from Panama and is as wonderful a Christian example that I know. She hosted a family of 5 in her very small house so that we could have Spanish-speaking associate pastor. When that family got their own house, she hosted another family so that we could have a Portugese-speaking congregation. She used her own money to fund the beginning of our ESL mission, the one that I'm involved in.

Then there are the African-American members who are really quite diverse from each other, but who I think have great guts to go against social pressures from their community and attend a historically "white" church. Our youth group really sticks out at a Southern Baptist gathering.

But, as our former pastor said. this a delicate thing. A precious thing, but something we don't talk about, something we don't promote. We are all pleased about it, but we don't know how we've succeeded. Generally folks in our church don't gripe and analyze and squirm the way I do. I'm pretty sure if there were a lot more INTJ's we'd probably spoil the wonderful diversity we have. But I'm not too worried that a lot of folks like me will be around.

I'm not doing a good job at leading to this conclusion, but here it is anyway. I think we have diversity because the amazing work of individuals. And that is not easy to create.

How to Survive Church

It's Sunday again and I'm again uncertain of if and where I'll be going to church. So I'm stalling on the internet and stumbled across a great blog entry . Who says the blog is dead?

Questions answered

I found the answer to my confusion:
I've been going through a study guide to Dallas Willard's Renovation of the Heart and yesterday a page pointed me to Romans 12. It serves as a checklist of what I'm looking for in a church. I took the list and applied it to the church I have considered leaving. Here's what I found.

4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.

We are certainly a diverse group and it's plain to see the gifts in many, as they are used to the benefit of the church body as a whole.

If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

How can I resent when someone does one thing (that may seem less strenuous to me) and not another? Especially when it seems to help the church body live?

Love

9Love must be sincere.

Seems that way to me.

Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

We've done a good job of standing up for the good without being hurtful.

10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.

check

Honor one another above yourselves.

I don't see very many signs of ego, except in myself.

11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

Our worship lacks "oomph" to be sure, but steadfastness has to count as fervor.

12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Same as above.

13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

We do this - definitely!

14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

I don't know who those people are, so I don't know. I don't hear any complaining or finger pointing.

15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

check

16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.^[c] Do not be conceited.

We could do this better, by not being awed by worldly status, but we are far better than most, I think. We have lots of people in "low position" in honorable service to the church.

17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

This is done, IMO, to an extreme. Doesn't anybody ever disagree?! But maybe the lack of peace is my own.

19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord. 20On the contrary:

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

As I said above, I'm unaware of any need for revenge or of enemies. I guess we're going a good job of overcoming evil with good. After studying this list, I wonder "What has been the big deal?" and I think I'm been fussing over small stuff.

In a few moments after coming to the conclusion that my church is the right place to be, I also found the solution to my "small groups" problem. I've been looking for small groups to be a substitute for 12 step groups. But 12 step groups can meet the same need, and I already have them.

Finally, the question of where would I base my ESL mission work was answered as I sat with the Hispanic congregation yesterday afternoon. So many people asked about English class, and I said "January", so I guess January it is. I asked a young man to be a teacher and I got his number. He is fresh out of high school ESL and has pretty good English. I got the feeling that the pastor was happy to see I was finding a place of service for the young man.

somewhere in between

My "sabbatical year" is half over and where am I? I'm still confused.
I know that I want to be teaching ESL. But as a part of what mission? Does the mission exist? Do I have to initiate the mission? As part of what community?

I am very far from community. There are two churches that I am attracted to. But there are turn-offs. Their web-pages illustrate my problem.

The church where I am currently a member has had a racially and culturally diverse congregation. Our youth group has been a rainbow of attributes - something that has been a sign to me of Christ's body. But now it presents stock graphics on its homepage of pretty people that I don't know. On its "about" page it is stated that "Of the four Southern Baptist Churches in town, Immanuel has remained the most traditional in its administration, ministries and worship format." That may explain why so many of our deacons were formerly members of other Baptist churches. As a trained musician, I really like having the notes to look at in a traditional hymnal. But is "traditional" a Christian attribute? It seems to me the "traditions" practiced at Immanuel are less than 150 years old.

Another church that I'm attracted to claims to be
This is a group that offers small groups (a big plus for me), solid theology, and I've had the blessing of knowing the two missionaries who are working in Guatemala. But is "casual" a Christian attribute? I happen to be a rather casual person, but I don't think I get that from the Holy Spirit.

I'd prefer to see a church advertise itself in more Biblical terms. Joy-filled and personal are good, and then there's patient ... kind...

I haven't been progressing well in finding community. I don't long for community. I'm an INTJ and my disposition isn't chummy. But so much of what I read about personal growth in recovery and in spiritual disciplines tells me that community is important. I say I'm looking for community, but I've been avoiding church altogether. I'm not practicing community at all. And I won't find it if I don't practice.

Big sigh. more later.

bloggishness of confusion

I am socially challenged. I know too many wonderful people ... I think I collect them... and yet I do too little to nourish friendships. Same thing with relatives. They're people too. And I don't treasure my people. I declared this my year of sabbatical and I have really pulled away from my church. I actually feel a part of two churches, yet I attend neither. Oh make that four churches counting the Spanish and Korean ones. Tonight Immanuel Baptist has a meet and greet for a new pastor ... he's not officially a new pastor, but since the search committee picked him, I doubt short of a lightening strike he'll be voted down. He gives a sermon tomorrow. Meanwhile Community of Joy is renovating a new building. And the Iglesia Bautista is growing and the Korean pastor's daughter just graduated. You'd think I might show up for some of this. But day by day, I'm not up for it. ... more later. I've got to go to class.