That's it for the first draft

I have some things to add, but they are part of the appendix of things written by other people. I'll include my Cousin Edith's letter describing when the Kennedy's used their rest room after the end of a white water race on the Hudson. And then there are things my Dad put to paper about relatives and about his WWII experience. So I've come to the less pleasant part of writing: looking at the thing as a whole, and working on the second draft. The way I'll work on the second draft will be to revise these blog entries ... so I don't think that will show up on facebook posts.

Meanwhile, I think my writing activities will be divided between this and a first draft of something else. I'm thinking a description of the hippy years. In a way, it's sort of embarrassing, but it also may be of interest. Some people will find it boring compared to what they imagined, but others may react differently.

And what a job it will be to write about! I have to keep my modern judgments out as much as I can. Also want to keep out the bragging "dope story" aspect. I don't know if I can do either.

Today I'm thinking about the old friend who died last winter, and I only just learned about it yesterday. This was an old friend I was happy to let go of, but I also had the thought that I'd see him again some day. I don't have an image of heaven as an old time reunion place, so I don't have that expectation. So I'm mourning him and thinking about what I can write about him. I cared about him a lot and had a lot of important experiences through him, but also didn't like him much. He was an amazing conversationalist and could play chords on the guitar and hold his harmony well. He was uncomfortable around me, probably because he knew what I knew about him and knew I didn't much like things about him. He told me a lot of his shortcomings and withheld some that were so huge, I only speculated about them. (I do the same myself - I'll tell you 80% of who I am so you won't find out about the 20%.) We were very intimate, but touched rarely - rather like Robert E. Howard and schoolteacher Novalyne Price Ellis in the movie the Whole Wide World. No wonder I wasn't in contact with him when he died.

Not so overwhelmed at home

How nice to have a next door neighbor who was willing to bring me a glass of water after I'd taken off my velcro boot to go to bed! It makes me feel a lot less helpless when I am able to accept help from other people. And I've got lots of people who are helpful. With and without help I got a few chores done and don't feel so overwhelmed today.

PS To quote Lena
Thank goodness for unsecured wireless networks!

Outta Here

I'll be leaving the nursing home this Saturday afternoon!
I've been practicing walking with a walker and climbing stairs with a cane. Kind friends from church came and cleaned my apartment and have stocked my kitchen!
I don't know when I'll be online. I have to reconnect my cable connection. I'll be out of work for at least two more weeks. So much to do!!

Morning gratitude

I really don't feel all that grateful this morning.  I had even forgotten that I intended to. I'm just feeling the general confusion of the morning of an unstructured day. I thought I do just one thing on the computer this morning before going back to sleep, but found myself again wandering around in cyberspace until I didn't feel like sleeping anymore. 

Fortunately my email had a blog comment to moderate and that reminded me of what I wrote yesterday. So that's gratitude number one. And having an unstructured day is gratitude number two. Which leads to me a thought of house cleaning so I won't be embarrassed when Ed comes to pick up my exercise bike to add to the school gym - so I'm grateful to have a coworker as pleasant and quietly witty as Ed ("I don't think anyone can describe me as 'rousing'"). And grateful that Bob hauled up my laundry bags yesterday and played my piano while he waited for his wife and didn't even look at the mess. And glad I can go swimming instead of using the exercise bike which I use as a clothes rack to dry my swim clothes. I'm starting to lose count now.