Thank you President Carter

An email friend tells me about her day of giving - items for a needy family and quilts for young mothers. And I'm thinking about the wonderful paradox that one's generosity increases one's own gratitude.

I have a quilt made by my great grandmother. It's pretty raggedy and perhaps I should find a way to get it mended, but it's so very comfortable and reminds me to be grateful for the family line that passed it to me.

I'm watching an old Charlie Rose interview with President Carter in 1999 - Carter unswerving in his love for the Bible teachings and his efforts for peace. He sees no difference between peace between individuals and peace between nations. A truly great man I am grateful for.

So there's my gratitude list for this evening- three people who I never met but who have had a wonderful impact on my life.

Lest we forget

Lest we forget.

I remember when I heard this live on WBAI before it had been recorded. Yeah, I'm old.

Morning gratitude

I really don't feel all that grateful this morning.  I had even forgotten that I intended to. I'm just feeling the general confusion of the morning of an unstructured day. I thought I do just one thing on the computer this morning before going back to sleep, but found myself again wandering around in cyberspace until I didn't feel like sleeping anymore. 

Fortunately my email had a blog comment to moderate and that reminded me of what I wrote yesterday. So that's gratitude number one. And having an unstructured day is gratitude number two. Which leads to me a thought of house cleaning so I won't be embarrassed when Ed comes to pick up my exercise bike to add to the school gym - so I'm grateful to have a coworker as pleasant and quietly witty as Ed ("I don't think anyone can describe me as 'rousing'"). And grateful that Bob hauled up my laundry bags yesterday and played my piano while he waited for his wife and didn't even look at the mess. And glad I can go swimming instead of using the exercise bike which I use as a clothes rack to dry my swim clothes. I'm starting to lose count now.

Grateful

I went to help out with the free Thanksgiving dinner that was offered by the three denominations on our block - Church of the Brethren, Lutheran, and Seventh Day Adventists. There were more helpers than there were eaters! Folks are saying that next year they should publicize more.

I did get in some friendly conversations and saw a guy from 12 step programs I haven't seen in a few years. He has some sort of mental disability that I can't identify ... seems to show very little affect and it's hard to understand his talking ... but he's sharp and thoughtful and once one can get through the talk problem, he's very pleasant to talk with.
He's not homeless, but certainly hard up and hits every free meal in town. He was telling me that the reason most people get kicked out of Christian Shelter was because they didn't want to sit through devotionals. He said "if that's the rule, I don't see why they can't do at least that little bit." I feel like that's the problem some of my high school students have ... it seems like they almost go out of their way to break some of the rules ... and some will be the homeless of the future.
Here's an article that encourages me to write a daily gratitude list. So what better day to start than today?
I'm grateful that I was taught to read.
I'm grateful to have drinkable water.
I'm grateful to live in a temperate climate.
I'm grateful that heat is included in my rent.
I'm grateful to have a childhood friend living nearby.

The picture above is of Kirk Douglas, I liked the picture before I knew it was of him. Now I like it even more.

Talking back in church

This topic has come up a few times in my recent life. I didn't realize it was special, but my current church "allows" talking during the Sunday worship service and that's pretty radical. Check out this posting on Christopher Webb's blog. (Webb's the new Renovaré president)

My retired pastor tells us how he will vote

Here's what he sent out in e-mail ... and not just to people who agree with him:

For the first time in years I’ve decided to tell people how I plan to vote in the coming election and why.

I have followed the race with some interest since early I the primary season. I discovered that some I initially favored had views with which I disagreed, so I dropped them. Others I thought I could support were knocked out in he early primaries.

When McCain and Obama were either nominated or the obvious choice of their party, I went back and forth between the two for some time. Both were strong candidates with good qualities and some qualities that were not so good (in my opinion). One particular quandary was my views regarding Iraq. I opposed the war, thought no good case had been made for it, thought a pre-emptive attack without overwhelming evidence was not good public policy. I feared it would give future enemies a rationale for a pre-emptive attack of their own, or be used by radicals to defend what they had already done. It appeared to me that if everything we had been told was true (and certainly some things were doubtful even before the first shot), it was not sufficient to attack Iraq. When we did attack I told the office staff (all of whom hardily supported the attack) ‘I hope we find so much evidence of Weapons of Mass Destruction that it will be obvious even to the greatest doubter.’

However, once we had invaded, we had to make it work. We had to stay until we achieved some kind of stable, democratic government. We had destabilized the entire region, created a haven for al-Qaida that had not existed before, provided an encouragement for many to join them, and precipitated a civil war. Once we got into that, I felt we had to do whatever was necessary to make it work and to re-stabilize the country and region. I wasn’t sure ‘The Surge’ would do it, but we needed to do something other than we were doing to bring some semblance of order out of the chaos. If you have followed me to this point, you understand that I am saying that I thought Obama was right initially about entering the war, but McCain was right about ‘the surge’ once the war had been started.

So, for whom do I vote? I wasn’t sure and went back and forth between them. I had some natural inclination toward McCain since I have been registered as a Republican since 1964, long before it was popular to be a Republican. I also had some inclination toward Clinton and Obama since I think we (the US) has a rather poor record in dealing with sexism and racism. And, of course, as a Christian there is always a recognition that God is at work around us and I want to join Him in what He is doing. So, I kept going back and forth between the two.

When Obama nominated Biden, I felt many of my concerns about Obama and foreign policy issues were lessened. When McCain nominated Palin, I thought it was a fascinating move. I knew nothing about her, was suspicious of what experience governing Alaska provided, but was greatly impressed by her acceptance speech. I talked with a friend with family in Alaska and got a very favorable report about her. So, still I was bouncing back and forth between the two.

Several things happened to push me to Obama.
1) It became apparent there was a major financial crisis unfolding. I watch CNBC (a business channel) which debated the ‘bail out’ proposal. There were positive and negatives. There were things they thought should be added and some they thought should be dropped. Most of the things I didn’t understand. But there was a crisis and something needed to be done quickly. The initial basic proposal came from a Republican administration, surely they would support their own. I watched in dismay the day the vote was taken as Republicans voted ‘no’ and the stock market dropped and I declared, ‘if they are such ideologues that they are going to vote ‘no’ on this then they don’t deserve to be in office.’ A week later they voted in favor of essentially the same bill, but now loaded with ‘pork’ and I found my disgust reaffirmed.

2) I think it was the day of the original vote on the ‘bailout’ package that the vice-presidential debated occurred. I had looked forward to it. After the debate I said to Gail, “I’ve heard ‘oh my gosh’ and ‘gee whiz’ enough to last a lifetime.” The thought of Sarah Palin being next in line for the president behind a person who would be older than anyone at their first inauguration was terrifying.

3) I receive emails from a wide-range of people, much wider than I am send this reflection. (This is going only to my immediate family and a few people whose opinion I value.) Some of those anti-Obama emails were so hostile, negative, overdone, and untrue that in my opinion they constituted ‘hatemail.’ Since most of them were supportive of McCain and opposed Obama, it pushed me further toward Obama. (Maybe that makes me more ‘mavericky’ then the mavericks.)

4) I listened to the debates and paid special attention to the discussion of health insurance. I found McCain’s approach to be very bad. Some six years or so ago Immanuel had health insurance on Gail and me through the denomination. It was not a Cadillac. It had no dental and no vision. It was a traditional 90/10, 80/20 co-pay depending on whether you used a network provider or not. The network was not robust and I needed to travel 35 miles (plus or minus) for at least one test. That policy cost the church over $17k a year some six years ago because we were in our late 50s! As a result we took Gail off my policy and eventually I was covered by her’s at school. Under McCain’s proposal some $12K of that cost would be considered taxable income. It wouldn’t raise my income or benefits, it would only raise my taxes! I suppose I would have to pay not only income tax on the money, but social security as well. Since a pastor is considered self-employed for the purposes of Social Security (that is I pay both the employers and employees portion) the cost of McCain’s plan would cost at least an additional $2,000 in taxes. By the way, I was never in a high bracket. McCain says he would tax the benefits on pricey policies by rich people. No. What he would do is tax older people. Any figures he quotes for an average is unnaturally low because of the age.

So for the above reasons and since I don’t hear the LORD vetoing my decision, I will vote for Barack Obama next week. If you support McCain you really don’t have to worry. My support amounts to the kiss of death. Since 1964 I have voted in every presidential election. To this point only two men for whom I have voted have been elected. Both of those were impeached! So don’t worry. Or, maybe we should all worry.

Thanks for taking time to read my missive. Woody

My response is

what he said!!

I had to reprint this poem

If you subscribe to Garrison Keillor's Writers' Almanac, you've already read today's gem. There's something to be said for reading a bit of poetry every day.

Warnings

by David Allen Sullivan
A can of self-defense pepper spray says it may
irritate the eyes, while a bathroom heater says it's
not to be used in bathrooms. I collect warnings
the way I used to collect philosophy quotes.

Wittgenstein's There's no such thing
as clear milk rubs shoulders with a box
of rat poison which has been found
to cause cancer in laboratory mice.

Levinas' Language is a battering ram—
a sign that says the very fact of saying,
is as inscrutable as the laser pointer's advice:
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.

Last week I boxed up the solemn row
of philosophy tomes and carted them down
to the used bookstore. The dolly read:
Not to be used to transport humans.

Did lawyers insist that the 13-inch wheel
on the wheelbarrow proclaim it's
not intended for highway use? Or that the
Curling iron is for external use only?

Abram says that realists render material
to give the reader the illusion of the ordinary.
What would he make of Shin pads cannot protect
any part of the body they do not cover?

I load boxes of books onto the counter. Flip
to a yellow-highlighted passage in Aristotle:
Whiteness which lasts for a long time is no whiter
than whiteness which lasts only a day.

A.A.'ers talk about the blinding glare
of the obvious: Objects in the mirror
are actually behind you, Electric cattle prod
only to be used on animals, Warning: Knives are sharp.

What would I have done without: Remove infant
before folding for storage, Do not use hair dryer
while sleeping, Eating pet rocks may lead to broken
teeth, Do not use deodorant intimately?

Goodbye to all those sentences that sought
to puncture the illusory world-like the warning
on the polyester Halloween outfit for my son:
Batman costume will not enable you to fly.

"Warnings" by David Allen Sullivan from Strong-Armed Angels. © Hummingbird Press, 2008.

Our pastor has been preaching on James and this is the week that we came to:

James 5
1Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. 2Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. 3Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. 4Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. 5You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.[a] 6You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you.
7Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. 8You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near. 9Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!
10Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

So very much for the times we are in!

But we have been reminded by friends visiting Guatemala that it isn't just some other guys who are rich, but it's everyone that was in the church building this morning. I have a refrigerator. I have hot water coming out of a faucet. I have a toilet that always works. I sleep in safety. I have a car.

Yesterday my landlord raised my rent. But I must add that he raised it for the first time in ten years from a ridiculously low rent rate to a less ridiculously low rate.

In lieu of church

Perhaps because of the change in seasons, my back is hurting. The kind of pain with pangs that feel like electric shocks. Or maybe I spent to long in bed taking a lazy day of rest yesterday. If that's the case the irony is that now I HAVE to lie down. I've got a stack of things to read, so I'm far from bored.

Yesterday I read a bunch of David Foster Wallace stories. Yes he was a genius. And he has infected my thinking, which is already prone to be divergent. He seems to be driving my head today except for the genius part.

This evening I AM going to make it to the "Love Feast" at church. That's the semi-annual foot washing which I found so meaningful in the spring. Pain or no pain.

I'll take some pills and think of all the back to back House episodes I've been seeing recently. (I watch it although I'm so annoyed that he uses a cane in a completely fake way)

I felt like looking at pictures of my great grandmother this morning. I was comparing myself with pictures of her at my age (60). She lived to be 90. She had much better health than I do, but I think I'm a lot like her. My dad wrote the linked description when he was in his fifties.

I also enjoyed this.

In passing

One of the great people of my parents' and my generation died yesterday. I have no words.

a letter to my coworkers

Dear co-workers, Dear teachers that I am assistant for,

       Today I've been appreciating how great it is that you have so much diversity in your little team. You are each so different and yet so strong as teachers. Our students are really fortunate to have you for a year (or two). You show them how to love the disciplines you present and you show them with kindness - the kindness that teachers show that is so rare in other parts of our world.

        I also appreciate how you use your human resources ... the assistants and aides and interns that come your way. What a three ring circus you face every day. You are truly gifted with your patience and the ability to think of several things at once. Sometimes, like today, I just have to reflect in awe.

         Finally I marvel at how well you work as a team, without losing your individuality. It's great to be working with you.

Update

It's not from lack of thoughts, but more from lack of energy that I haven't blogged. I'd say lack of time, but I've had time to sleep, so I have had time. But what time I've had available has been spent gathering up energy for the next day.  I've absolutely no down time at work and I miss that. I got my new office all decorated and now I have very little time in it. I guess the upside is that I won't mess it up!

I've been teaching business math at evening school on Mondays and Tuesdays and I spend some hours preparing. If I teach it again, it will take less time because right now I'm getting acquainted with the material, the administration and the grading system. I'm hoping that this will be a door into a better paying job.

I wore a blister onto a toe last week and that really messed me up. I had to go see a doctor, but it was OK, uninfected and I was doing what I was supposed to do for it. I don't regret taking the time to see the doctor because if something gets worse, she's already seen it and can deal with it over the phone. Speaking of the doctor, it's time to fill up the pill boxes. Another time consuming chore.

Our new school year

I tried to embed this video, but was not successful.
The man giving the introduction is a former music teacher, our new county school superintendent!!!
Between our new school principal and our new superintendent, I'm a pretty happy employee. Now if I could make enough money to pay my bills....

Special people

Yesterday I drove to Rehobeth to visit with a friend who was visiting there. I still have a big smile on my face from the experience. 

I first met Dick about 15 years ago at an art/math conference which he attended with his friend Derwood, a musician. We sat together during lectures and wrote notes and behaved like middle school students and promised each other that we were "best friends". He showed me a flexible geometric construction he'd patented and told me of some museum exhibits he'd thought of.  I was enthused about the construction and was doubtful about the exhibits (which he later proved me wrong about). 

Months later he collaborated with me at making "holey-spheres", something I'd vainly hoped I could make money with, but found pleasure in nevertheless. Dick worked tirelessly to develop his "string thing" and eventually it evolved into a toy that sold well in the mass market.  After developing a few more toys, I guess he'd be described as a toy maker. But I think he's really an artist. 

When I have visited him and his wife at home it's always been a magical time. I've known him through three homes: an east village apartment, a country cottage in New York state, and a house in Pittsburg. His home is always filled with fascinating creations - art and toys, objects to explore and explore with. He has stuff hanging on trees in his yard.

I always enjoy being with his wife and he tells me that all his friends feel that way with her. She has a way of tuning into what's important to you and facilitating a lively conversation. She's a kind-hearted person and a superb hostess too.

Yesterday I got to see Derwood again who brought a neat lady friend and the bunch of us, along with Eileen's niece, lounged around Eileen's sister-in-law's house and just talked about anything. I can't remember all the topics, but the range was enormous, amusing, informative and interesting. Dick and Eileen don't have children of their own, but they seem to have a strong sense of family.  They are close to their blood relatives and they are loyal and caring with their diverse friends. I feel so lucky to be in that category.

'Mater Mania

If you follow the little river that runs through our town and go toward its mouth to the Chesapeake Bay, you'll pass some towns that have been there since before the revolutionary war and that are still populated by descendants of Native Americans and early immigrants. In recent years many others have moved in looking for rural quiet. One group being some organic farmers. These farmers provide the local vegetables I "subscribe" to in a CSA. Today there was an annual tomato festival, the proceeds go for charity (providing vegetables for income people - hey that's ME) and I went to volunteer and to pick up tomatoes for ratatouille and buy a sandwich. 

The sandwich was awesome. Why didn't I think to put basil in one before?

The lady in charge didn't have anything for me to do, so I spent the three hours people watching and socializing. The weather was beautiful, the river was beautiful, and the people were interesting. In another life I should make a living talking to strangers.

Well I'd better go cut up some tomatoes.

Washing the stairs

With our recent cooler weather and my last week before going back to full time work, I've been doing some cleaning that I haven't done in years. I have been cleaning the common areas of my building. 

Someone else is paid to do this, but my landlord is a softie and won't "retire" the lady who is definitely too old and probably too infirm for the job, so if it gets done at all, it gets done poorly. I don't complain because my landlord hasn't raised my rent since I moved here and so I'm grateful my landlord is a softie. And I'm pretty old and infirm myself.

So back to the cleaning. I've scrubbed the landing and have scrubbed half of the stairs. Today I hope to finish the stairs. Four years ago I scrubbed all but the bottom four stairs (They remained for contrast). Since then I've had two knee replacements and my kneeling days are over. And until my surgery, I was a hands and knees sort of cleaner. It's the only way I can do a good job. So now I'm a stand and bend or sit and bend cleaner.

Nobody has done the stairs since four years ago, so you can imagine what they're like. A bucket of cleaning water does no more than four steps. Yesterday I did nine steps (stretched one bucket to five). 

I'm feeling so grateful that I am feeling well enough to do this. Did my apartment floors too this week. And the thing is that I'm feeling better and better as I go along.

Update - done with the stairs! Recommended music for cleaning.

Great weather

All my cells are happy. The temperature is reasonable and they are in homeostasis. I'm afraid I'm like the person in the Bible who is tossed to and fro on waves ... I don't sustain moods or resolve very well. Is it all dependent on the temperature and air pressure? Well, I'm glad I live in a temperate climate area. I'd be mighty grumpy in some other biomes. But here I'm so grateful for the beauty of deciduous trees, plentiful clean water, and comfortable nights.

I survived five short VBS sessions of working with preschoolers without killing anyone or even making someone cry. I didn't do well at it ... my memory was completely shot because I was so nervous and that's the first thing to go. Note to self: don't go into acting. 

Next year - origami

Yesterday my "SummerScholar" course for gifted students concluded. I was teaching the game of Go and threw in some origami for variety. The kids responded very positively. But if I want to work in the program next year, I've got to come up with something different because Go doesn't draw enough students. 

Like a heavenly sign, e-mail from TEDS last night sent me here:
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/robert_lang_folds_way_new_origami.html

Origami is exactly what the doctor ordered! And I've been fiddling with origami almost as long as I've been fiddling with Go.

We can't just spend 3 hours a day making little animals. But there's lot's of math and science in it (as the video points out too) and we could do paper airplane experimentation for variety.

Feet on ground

I got my feelings hurt last night ... I was criticized for my guitar playing during last Sunday's service. Someone had said to the leader that it "clashed". I felt like packing up and going home right then, or least quitting forever.
I'm not saying my guitar playing wasn't bad, but I felt that I had put in a huge effort for less than a week's notice. I didn't know what key we were playing in until after Tuesday.
It looks as if things won't change much, so unless I want to continue to put out a huge effort and continue to play badly because I'm not really prepared, I should leave my (very very heavy) guitar at home. 

Then the lead singer suggested everybody not sing except during the choruses... so as not to confuse the congregation. At that point I started to thinking I'll get to sing more if I'm IN the congregation.
I knew that I was feeling like a sorehead, so I tried to make no decisions or proclamations last night. I need to sort out what my participation is about. Not easy. I don't really like the contemporary music as music ... but I do like participating in it. It's great to strum, clap, tap my feet, and sing harmony while worshipping God.

WOW!

Praise band practice tonight involved a new teenager and a man. (Not a bass but good enough!) What a wonderful sound we made! Not like anything we've done before so the congregation will be in for a Sunday surprise. I've often said that my favorite thing was singing duets. I have to revise that now. My favorite thing is singing quartets! This was better than I could have expected for a first time group. Our leader is very talented and worked really well with our newcomers. Same with our piano player. We are really blessed. I have fantasies of us going on the road :-)

When I got home I actually carried my guitar up the stairs. That's enthusiasm!